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wisdom

What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?

353 responsesCloses 30 days ago

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353
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When 353 people were asked about the best advice they'd ever received, their responses revealed a fascinating portrait of collective wisdom centered on a profound yet simple truth: the most transformative insights often challenge our natural instincts. Rather than encouraging ambition or achievement, the advice that resonated most deeply taught people to embrace limitation, impermanence, and restraint. The dominant theme—that all circumstances are temporary—emerged in 15% of responses, typically shared by mothers during crisis moments, teaching their children to find strength in life's inevitable changes. This wisdom of accepting transience connects powerfully with other major themes around managing attention mindfully (10% of responses) and avoiding the trap of social comparison (7%), all pointing toward the counterintuitive idea that peace comes not from controlling outcomes, but from controlling our relationship to them. Perhaps most striking is how frequently the best advice involved permission to do less rather than more. Whether it was bosses teaching employees to "under-promise and over-deliver" (5%), therapists encouraging self-care over endless caregiving, or the wisdom that something "done is better than perfect" (5%), people consistently valued guidance that freed them from impossible standards. This theme of productive limitation extends to relationship wisdom as well, where learning to choose happiness over being right (6%) and approaching others with curiosity rather than judgment (6%) both require the discipline to restrain our ego-driven impulses. The advice that proved most valuable wasn't about achieving more, but about the strategic power of focus, boundaries, and acceptance—suggesting that in our culture of endless optimization, the rarest and most precious wisdom is learning when and how to let go.

Themes (14)

Temporary Nature Wisdom

15% (52 responses)

This theme centers on the profound life lesson that all circumstances, whether positive or negative, are temporary and will eventually pass. The wisdom, often shared by mothers during times of crisis, emphasizes the importance of perspective - appreciating good moments while they last and finding strength during difficult times by remembering they won't persist forever. This understanding helps people develop resilience, practice gratitude, and maintain emotional balance through life's inevitable ups and downs.

"'This too shall pass' - my mom said this during every crisis. Whether good times or bad, everything is temporary. It helps me appreciate good moments more and survive bad ones knowing they won't last forever."
goodtimepresentjustforever
View representative responses (3)
  • 'This too shall pass' - my mom said this during every crisis. Whether good times or bad, everything is temporary. It helps me appreciate good moments more and survive bad ones knowing they won't last forever.
  • 'This too shall pass' - my mom said this during every crisis. Whether good times or bad, everything is temporary. It helps me appreciate good moments more and survive bad ones knowing they won't last forever.
  • 'This too shall pass' - my mom said this during every crisis. Whether good times or bad, everything is temporary. It helps me appreciate good moments more and survive bad ones knowing they won't last forever.

Mindful Attention Management

10% (34 responses)

This theme centers on the transformative power of becoming conscious about what we choose to focus on, particularly in our media consumption habits. The responses emphasize how our attention is a valuable resource that shapes our mental state and worldview, with many people recognizing they were unconsciously feeding negativity through social media and news consumption. The core insight is that awareness of our attention patterns is the first step toward intentional focus, leading to better mental health and a more positive outlook on life.

"'Pay attention to what you pay attention to.' This meditation teacher's advice made me realize how much I was unconsciously feeding negativity by consuming certain news and social media. What you focus on grows."
advicefocussocialsocial mediamedia
View representative responses (3)
  • 'Pay attention to what you pay attention to.' This meditation teacher's advice made me realize how much I was unconsciously feeding negativity by consuming certain news and social media. What you focus on grows.
  • 'Pay attention to what you pay attention to.' This meditation teacher's advice made me realize how much I was unconsciously feeding negativity by consuming certain news and social media. What you focus on grows.
  • 'Pay attention to what you pay attention to.' This meditation teacher's advice made me realize how much I was unconsciously feeding negativity by consuming certain news and social media. What you focus on grows.

Social Circle Influence

9% (31 responses)

This theme centers around the profound realization that our closest relationships fundamentally shape who we are and who we become. The responses reflect people's awakening to the idea that the five people they spend the most time with serve as a mirror and catalyst for their own personal development. This insight prompted serious self-reflection about the quality and nature of their social connections, leading many to consciously evaluate whether their relationships were inspiring growth, challenge, and positive change, or potentially holding them back from reaching their full potential.

"'You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.' This made me seriously evaluate my relationships. Surrounding yourself with people who inspire and challenge you genuinely shapes who you become."
relationshipspeopleforevertimetold
View representative responses (3)
  • 'You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.' This made me seriously evaluate my relationships. Surrounding yourself with people who inspire and challenge you genuinely shapes who you become.
  • 'You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.' This made me seriously evaluate my relationships. Surrounding yourself with people who inspire and challenge you genuinely shapes who you become.
  • 'You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.' This made me seriously evaluate my relationships. Surrounding yourself with people who inspire and challenge you genuinely shapes who you become.

Boss's Career Wisdom

8% (29 responses)

This theme captures valuable career advice received directly from supervisors or managers. The responses highlight how bosses often provide candid, sometimes harsh but ultimately liberating insights about professional development and self-advocacy. The central message emphasizes personal responsibility for one's career trajectory - that individuals must actively pursue opportunities and recognition rather than passively waiting for others to provide them. This advice transforms the potentially discouraging reality that others may not prioritize your success into an empowering call for self-determination and proactive career management.

"An old boss told me 'No one cares about your career as much as you do.' It sounds harsh but it's liberating. Waiting for others to give you opportunities or recognition is passive. You have to advocate for yourself actively."
boss toldbosstold
View representative responses (3)
  • An old boss told me 'No one cares about your career as much as you do.' It sounds harsh but it's liberating. Waiting for others to give you opportunities or recognition is passive. You have to advocate for yourself actively.
  • An old boss told me 'No one cares about your career as much as you do.' It sounds harsh but it's liberating. Waiting for others to give you opportunities or recognition is passive. You have to advocate for yourself actively.
  • An old boss told me 'No one cares about your career as much as you do.' It sounds harsh but it's liberating. Waiting for others to give you opportunities or recognition is passive. You have to advocate for yourself actively.

Focus Through Limitation

8% (27 responses)

This theme centers on the profound realization that effectiveness comes through selective focus rather than attempting to excel in all areas simultaneously. The responses reflect a common struggle with being 'spread too thin' and the liberating discovery that choosing priorities and accepting limitations is not a weakness but a strategic necessity. The wisdom shared emphasizes that while individual potential may be limitless, practical success requires the discipline to concentrate efforts on fewer objectives, making conscious sacrifices to achieve meaningful progress in chosen areas.

"A friend told me 'You can do anything, but you can't do everything.' I was spread too thin trying to excel at everything. Accepting that focus requires sacrifice, and that's okay, was incredibly freeing."
tryingfocusactuallydoestold
View representative responses (3)
  • A friend told me 'You can do anything, but you can't do everything.' I was spread too thin trying to excel at everything. Accepting that focus requires sacrifice, and that's okay, was incredibly freeing.
  • A friend told me 'You can do anything, but you can't do everything.' I was spread too thin trying to excel at everything. Accepting that focus requires sacrifice, and that's okay, was incredibly freeing.
  • A friend told me 'You can do anything, but you can't do everything.' I was spread too thin trying to excel at everything. Accepting that focus requires sacrifice, and that's okay, was incredibly freeing.

Avoiding Social Comparison

7% (25 responses)

This theme centers on the wisdom of avoiding comparisons with others, particularly in the age of social media. The responses emphasize how constant comparison robs people of happiness and joy, referencing the famous quote 'Comparison is the thief of joy' that many learned from their mothers. The theme highlights the particular challenge that social media presents, where people constantly see others' curated 'highlight reels' rather than reality, making it more important than ever to focus on personal progress and growth instead of measuring oneself against others' apparent success.

"'Comparison is the thief of joy.' Theodore Roosevelt apparently said this, but my mom quoted it constantly. Social media makes this harder than ever, but focusing on my own progress instead of others' highlight reels has been essential for happiness."
mominsteadsocialmediasocial media
View representative responses (3)
  • 'Comparison is the thief of joy.' Theodore Roosevelt apparently said this, but my mom quoted it constantly. Social media makes this harder than ever, but focusing on my own progress instead of others' highlight reels has been essential for happiness.
  • 'Comparison is the thief of joy.' Theodore Roosevelt apparently said this, but my mom quoted it constantly. Social media makes this harder than ever, but focusing on my own progress instead of others' highlight reels has been essential for happiness.
  • 'Comparison is the thief of joy.' Theodore Roosevelt apparently said this, but my mom quoted it constantly. Social media makes this harder than ever, but focusing on my own progress instead of others' highlight reels has been essential for happiness.

Grandmother's Wisdom

6% (22 responses)

This theme centers on profound life advice passed down from grandmothers, particularly focusing on practical wisdom about managing worry and anxiety. The responses highlight how simple, metaphorical sayings from grandmothers can provide lasting frameworks for approaching life's challenges. The recurring rocking chair metaphor illustrates how some activities feel productive but don't actually move us forward, offering a clear distinction between actionable concerns and pointless rumination. These generational wisdom nuggets demonstrate the enduring power of folk wisdom and family teachings in shaping how people navigate emotional difficulties.

"My grandmother said 'Worrying is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere.' Such a vivid image. Now when I catch myself worrying, I ask if there's an action I can take. If yes, do it. If no, let it go."
said
View representative responses (3)
  • My grandmother said 'Worrying is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere.' Such a vivid image. Now when I catch myself worrying, I ask if there's an action I can take. If yes, do it. If no, let it go.
  • My grandmother said 'Worrying is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere.' Such a vivid image. Now when I catch myself worrying, I ask if there's an action I can take. If yes, do it. If no, let it go.
  • My grandmother said 'Worrying is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere.' Such a vivid image. Now when I catch myself worrying, I ask if there's an action I can take. If yes, do it. If no, let it go.

Choosing Happiness Over Being Right

6% (21 responses)

This theme centers on a powerful therapeutic insight that prioritizes relationship harmony and personal well-being over the need to win arguments or prove one's correctness. The core message suggests that in many situations, particularly in close relationships like marriage, the pursuit of being factually or morally 'right' can be counterproductive to achieving genuine happiness and maintaining meaningful connections with others. This wisdom encourages people to evaluate whether their need to be correct is worth potentially damaging relationships or personal peace, offering a perspective that sometimes the 'right' choice is actually to let go of being right.

"My therapist said 'You can be right, or you can be happy.' This transformed my marriage. Being correct in an argument matters way less than maintaining connection. Sometimes letting go of being right is the actual right choice."
waytherapistsaid
View representative responses (3)
  • My therapist said 'You can be right, or you can be happy.' This transformed my marriage. Being correct in an argument matters way less than maintaining connection. Sometimes letting go of being right is the actual right choice.
  • My therapist said 'You can be right, or you can be happy.' This transformed my marriage. Being correct in an argument matters way less than maintaining connection. Sometimes letting go of being right is the actual right choice.
  • My therapist said 'You can be right, or you can be happy.' This transformed my marriage. Being correct in an argument matters way less than maintaining connection. Sometimes letting go of being right is the actual right choice.

Curiosity Over Judgment

6% (21 responses)

This theme centers on the transformative power of approaching others with curiosity rather than immediate judgment when faced with behaviors or actions we don't understand. The responses emphasize shifting from a defensive or critical mindset to one of genuine inquiry, asking questions like 'why might a reasonable person do that?' This mental reframing, often attributed to Walt Whitman's wisdom 'Be curious, not judgmental,' helps individuals develop greater empathy, reduce anger and frustration, and build more meaningful connections with others by seeking to understand rather than condemn.

"'Be curious, not judgmental.' I heard this attributed to Walt Whitman. When someone does something I don't understand, asking 'why might a reasonable person do that?' instead of judging has made me more empathetic and less angry at the world."
angryunderstanddoesinstead
View representative responses (3)
  • 'Be curious, not judgmental.' I heard this attributed to Walt Whitman. When someone does something I don't understand, asking 'why might a reasonable person do that?' instead of judging has made me more empathetic and less angry at the world.
  • 'Be curious, not judgmental.' I heard this attributed to Walt Whitman. When someone does something I don't understand, asking 'why might a reasonable person do that?' instead of judging has made me more empathetic and less angry at the world.
  • 'Be curious, not judgmental.' I heard this attributed to Walt Whitman. When someone does something I don't understand, asking 'why might a reasonable person do that?' instead of judging has made me more empathetic and less angry at the world.

Professional Self-Care Guidance

6% (20 responses)

This theme captures insights shared by mental health professionals who advised individuals struggling with burnout and overextension in caregiving roles. The responses consistently feature therapists providing permission and framework for prioritizing self-care without guilt, emphasizing that taking care of oneself is actually essential for effectively helping others. The metaphor of 'pouring from an empty cup' serves as a powerful visualization that reframes self-care from selfish indulgence to necessary maintenance, helping people understand that sustainable caregiving requires personal replenishment.

"'You can't pour from an empty cup.' A therapist told me this when I was burning out trying to take care of everyone else. It gave me permission to prioritize self-care without guilt. You actually help others better when you're not running on empty."
actuallytryingbettertherapisttold
View representative responses (3)
  • 'You can't pour from an empty cup.' A therapist told me this when I was burning out trying to take care of everyone else. It gave me permission to prioritize self-care without guilt. You actually help others better when you're not running on empty.
  • 'You can't pour from an empty cup.' A therapist told me this when I was burning out trying to take care of everyone else. It gave me permission to prioritize self-care without guilt. You actually help others better when you're not running on empty.
  • 'You can't pour from an empty cup.' A therapist told me this when I was burning out trying to take care of everyone else. It gave me permission to prioritize self-care without guilt. You actually help others better when you're not running on empty.

Under-Promise, Over-Deliver

5% (19 responses)

This theme centers around foundational workplace advice received from early career bosses, specifically the strategy of setting modest expectations and then exceeding them. The responses emphasize how this simple but effective approach builds trust and credibility more reliably than making grandiose promises that may not be fulfilled. The advice is presented as timeless wisdom that has proven its worth through practical application, highlighting the value of conservative goal-setting paired with strong execution.

"My first boss told me 'Under-promise and over-deliver.' It's such simple advice but it works. Setting realistic expectations and then exceeding them builds trust way more effectively than making big promises you might not keep."
buildsbigwayboss toldboss
View representative responses (3)
  • My first boss told me 'Under-promise and over-deliver.' It's such simple advice but it works. Setting realistic expectations and then exceeding them builds trust way more effectively than making big promises you might not keep.
  • My first boss told me 'Under-promise and over-deliver.' It's such simple advice but it works. Setting realistic expectations and then exceeding them builds trust way more effectively than making big promises you might not keep.
  • My first boss told me 'Under-promise and over-deliver.' It's such simple advice but it works. Setting realistic expectations and then exceeding them builds trust way more effectively than making big promises you might not keep.

Done Over Perfect

5% (19 responses)

This theme centers on the wisdom of prioritizing completion and action over endless perfectionism. The responses highlight how perfectionism often masks fear of judgment and prevents people from finishing and sharing their work. The core insight is that delivering something good and complete is more valuable than endlessly refining something that may never see the light of day. This advice particularly resonates with those who struggle with overthinking, endless revision, and the paralysis that comes from setting impossibly high standards.

"'Done is better than perfect.' A professor said this about my tendency to endlessly revise papers. Perfectionism is really just fear of judgment dressed up as quality. Shipping something good beats never finishing something perfect."
bettergoodjustsaid
View representative responses (3)
  • 'Done is better than perfect.' A professor said this about my tendency to endlessly revise papers. Perfectionism is really just fear of judgment dressed up as quality. Shipping something good beats never finishing something perfect.
  • 'Done is better than perfect.' A professor said this about my tendency to endlessly revise papers. Perfectionism is really just fear of judgment dressed up as quality. Shipping something good beats never finishing something perfect.
  • 'Done is better than perfect.' A professor said this about my tendency to endlessly revise papers. Perfectionism is really just fear of judgment dressed up as quality. Shipping something good beats never finishing something perfect.

Setting Relationship Boundaries

5% (18 responses)

This theme centers on the powerful realization that individuals have control over how others treat them through the boundaries they establish and enforce. The recurring wisdom 'You teach people how to treat you' serves as a transformative insight about personal responsibility in relationships. People sharing this theme describe how learning to set boundaries early in relationships - whether romantic, professional, or personal - fundamentally changed their interactions with others. The responses emphasize that accepting poor treatment inadvertently signals that such behavior is acceptable, while standing up for oneself from the beginning establishes healthier relationship dynamics and mutual respect.

"Someone told me 'You teach people how to treat you.' It was a wake-up call about boundaries. If you accept being treated poorly, you're establishing that as acceptable. Standing up for yourself early sets the tone for all your relationships."
earlypeoplerelationshipstold
View representative responses (3)
  • Someone told me 'You teach people how to treat you.' It was a wake-up call about boundaries. If you accept being treated poorly, you're establishing that as acceptable. Standing up for yourself early sets the tone for all your relationships.
  • Someone told me 'You teach people how to treat you.' It was a wake-up call about boundaries. If you accept being treated poorly, you're establishing that as acceptable. Standing up for yourself early sets the tone for all your relationships.
  • Someone told me 'You teach people how to treat you.' It was a wake-up call about boundaries. If you accept being treated poorly, you're establishing that as acceptable. Standing up for yourself early sets the tone for all your relationships.

Patience Prevents Problems

4% (15 responses)

This theme centers around the wisdom of taking time to prepare and plan before taking action, often expressed through the classic adage 'measure twice, cut once.' The responses emphasize how investing time upfront in careful preparation, verification, and thoughtful planning ultimately saves time and effort by preventing costly mistakes and the need for rework. This principle, while originating from practical craftsmanship like woodworking, extends as valuable life advice applicable to any situation where hasty decisions could lead to complications.

"My dad always said 'Measure twice, cut once.' He meant it literally for woodworking, but it applies to everything. Taking time to plan and verify before acting saves so much time fixing mistakes later. Slow is smooth and smooth is fast."
timesaid
View representative responses (3)
  • My dad always said 'Measure twice, cut once.' He meant it literally for woodworking, but it applies to everything. Taking time to plan and verify before acting saves so much time fixing mistakes later. Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.
  • My dad always said 'Measure twice, cut once.' He meant it literally for woodworking, but it applies to everything. Taking time to plan and verify before acting saves so much time fixing mistakes later. Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.
  • My dad always said 'Measure twice, cut once.' He meant it literally for woodworking, but it applies to everything. Taking time to plan and verify before acting saves so much time fixing mistakes later. Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.

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353
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353 responses

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